Jem Jones Linkup: Quirk #5

I know, I know, I said I'd jump on you with confetti about The Return of the Thief today. I've decided to give you a reprieve and wait until Monday. :D

Also, I just realized I posted this before Jem actually put up the linkup thing...whoops! *embarrassment*. But I'm not going to take it down, I'll just embrace the poor planning. :)

No, OF COURSE this Quirk could not POSSIBLY be influenced by the fact that I'm taking my black belt test tomorrow. No way. *eyeroll* I don't think I'm usually this obvious...but anyway, this was a really fun Quirk to write! The sass! The names! The banter! I hope you enjoy! 

Look, a strange man grabbed me from behind, and I was suddenly in a different place! Can you blame me for punching him in the jaw, kicking him in the crock, wrenching away the strange ornate clock he was holding, and then sitting on him?

Almost as soon as he's immobilized and I begin looking around, another man materializes, also holding an ornate clock. He looks at me, running one hand down his pointy, almost dainty, black goatee. This one I merely glare at. 

He raises an eyebrow at me, unperturbed. "Miss Agape, would you please get off my agent-in-training?"

The agent in question is still groaning and clutching his jaw. I stand and step off of him gingerly, and he promptly curls up, moaning, around his injured nether parts. I roll my eyes in disgust, and turn my attention to the other man. 

"Mr. Meritus, for someone whose name means 'justice', you are a remarkably crooked man."
"Miss Agape, for someone whose name means 'love'--"
"I'm remarkably bellicose, I know," I cut in. 

He waves a hand elegantly in acknowledgement of a point scored as I continue, "The government training regulations state that two kidnappings per month are acceptable. This is the third time I've been kidnaped this WEEK. And last week was almost as bad. It's getting old. For me and your trainees."

The corner of the man's mouth turns up in a smirk. "Ah, but Miss Agape...the government regulations only apply to official kidnapping victims."
I cross my arms. "I'm aware."

"And yet, you expect me to treat you as I do the boring official victims?"

I raise an eyebrow at him. "'Expect' is a strong word. Perhaps 'wish' or 'hope', as in, 'I hope that if I incapacitate enough of Mr. Meritus's trainees, he'll only have them kidnap me once a week.'"

He raises one of his bushy eyebrows in return. "Ah, but they learn so much from kidnapping you, don't they?" He looks at the man still groaning on the floor. "Don't you?" he asks, more loudly.

"Wear...a cup...next...time," he wheezes.

It's my turn to smirk at Mr. Meritus. "So much learning. I am taken aback." I tap my foot. "You told me that if I allowed myself to be used as a kidnapping victim for trainee Travellers, you wouldn't let on that I had Travelled illegally. We had a deal. Kidnapping three times a week wasn't in it."

"As a famous movie from roughly a hundred years ago said, 'I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.'"

"Darth Vader does not become you, Mr. Meritus. Try Uncle Andrew, from the later film."
"What, 'Mine is a high and lonely destiny'?"

I shrug a shoulder in nonchalant agreement. "It seems to fit. Rules are only guidelines where you're concerned."

He looks hurt. "I have a great respect for the rules."

"Except concerning me. I see. You know, I could tell the Council about this."
"And if you do, I could tell them about your illegal Travelling." He strokes his goatee. "We are at an impasse it seems, Miss Agape."

I roll my eyes and purse my lips. "But would they be happy to learn that you've been giving me amnesty? How about this. You give me the proof of my illegal Travelling, and you can kidnap me twice a week."

"I give you the proof and documentation, and we can kidnap you as many times per week as we want," he counters.

"You give me the proof and documentation, you can kidnap me as many as three times a week but no more, and I don't totally incapacitate your agents."

"Done, Miss Agape. How does my name look on me now?" He tips his jet-black fedora to me, and disappears. 

Does your name fit you? Have you ever done karate? Did you recognize my second movie/book reference?