Fantastic Feminine Friendships//Collab with Megan Chappie

Hey guys! Today's post is the result of a project that Megan Chappie and I have had a lot of fun with. (Or at least, I have, and I hope Megan has, too.) After she wrote THIS post about Marvelous Masculine Friendships, I asked if she was planning to do one on female literary friendships. One thing led to another, and so today we're both putting up posts about our favorite literary female friendships! 

One thing we noticed while brainstorming together is that we could think of far fewer female friendships than either male friendships or male-female friendships. So if any of y'all are waffling on what kind of friendship to put into your current WIP...we need more excellent female friendships! (Although she and I did come up with quite a few for these posts. :))

Megan's post is HERE! I hope you have as much fun reading both of our posts as we had writing them. 

Maddie and Queenie 
From Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein

I know that Megan is going to be writing about these girls, too. And we're both going to gush like idiots. It's going to be great. Okay, but these two. These two lovelies. 

I think I'm going to be saying this a lot in this post, but they are so different, yet work together SO. WELL. Maddie is a phenomenal pilot who is terrified of war; Queenie is an upper-class radio operator/interrogator who is the chic-est and not terrified of anything. Or so it seems. (Yes, that was unnecessarily dramatic. Sue me.)

They initially meet because they're on the same airbase during an...air raid, I think? (I am bad with the war terminology, sorry Megan!) and they end up in the same shelter. Maddie is terrified, so she brings an umbrella (because that's rational...but it makes her feel better) and everyone is more-or less making fun of her for this umbrella...until Queenie asks to share the umbrella. Then right after the air raid, Maddie comments that Queenie can't possible be afraid of anything, which leads to Queenie sharing her ten worst fears...and then, they're friends. And I love it, because this is just like it works in real life--some small thing happens, and then a friendship blossoms.

They're so different, and yet so close, and one of my favorite things about the book is how Wein uses the narration to show this--on a reread, Maddie's part of the story seems almost dull until Queenie shows up. When Queenie ends up telling her story, she tells it from Maddie's POV. (I love that. I love it so much.) 

One of my favorite lines in the whole book is from right after the girls go through a harrowing experience which really cements their friendship, and one of them says "It's like being in love, discovering your best friend." ALL THE HEARTS. Because it IS. And even for me, who doesn't know if she's ever had a best friend (I can grammar today) I can see HOW this would and will be. And it's one of the things I love about this book, that I love SO MUCH about this book, is the middle part of the quote "it's like being in love". Because in this day-and-age, not only can women and men no longer be just friends without fingers being pointed, in some ways women can't either, men can't either--but this book defies those horrible pointy fingers, because being friends is different than being in love, even if it's similar, and friendship is a different and beautiful thing all on its own. *jumps off soapbox* *clears throat*

Another thing I love is that the friendship is developed through small moments, and the letters that are written, and the adventures that are had, and the little moments of sharing, and care, and worrying, and crying (yes, really).
And then the second half of the book hits, and please ignore me, I'm just sitting in a corner sobbing. It's fine. I'm fine. Everything is fine. 



Kate and Constance 
From The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart

These two. They are hilarious. Quite possibly the most dysfunctional friendship on this list. Initially, it seems pretty one-sided: Kate is always the one taking the initiative to reach out to Constance to ask her if she's doing ok, Kate is the one who's carrying Constance around on her back when they need to get somewhere fast, it's all Kate. But you can tell that Constance starts to care, and then, in the end...well. I shan't spoil it for you. 


Ella and Areida 
From Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine

If I think hard about it, this was probably the first female friendship I ever read in my life. And while it's not the most spectacular one on this list (that's Maddie and Queenie, no question), it's still very sweet.

Both Ella and Areida are rather misfits at their boarding school, so they draw together into a strong friendship that is, if I recall correctly, often cemented while everyone else is sleeping.

They care about each other, stand up for each other, and worry about each other, and it's really, really sweet. And nothing like the movie.

(Okay, I like the movie. But the book is a whooooole different entity). 


Angelica and Eliza 
From the musical Hamilton 

Yes, I know, I know, they're sisters. But. But. They are also friends, very good friends. They're absolutely on the same wavelength absolutely all the time, from their excitement about the revolution in "The Schuyler Sisters" (side note, but why on earth do people always get excited about war?) to falling in love with the same person in "Helpless" and "Satisfied". 

But see, here's where it gets good. Because instead of falling into sisterly rivalry, Angelica steps aside, because she sees her sister as the better person, the one who deserves Alexander. She marries lovelessly, moves an ocean away, and does not do anything with Alexander (the steamy letters don't count XD) because she doesn't want to destroy her friendship with her sister

And then she helps her sister tell Alexander's story. For the rest of her life. *resists the tears*

Just try to tell me this isn't a beautiful friendship. 

(Also, in real life, Philippa Soo and Renee Elise Goldsberry are also friends, which makes me inordinately happy.) 



(Image credit: YA Bibliophile)

I & H 
From The Queen’s Thief series by Megan Whalen Turner

I'm going to call them by these initial pseudonyms, which will probably not make sense until at least book 2 or 3 where you'll start to be less surprised by the friendship...because I don't want to give any spoilers for these books. Because spoilers would ruin it. (Okay, not completely, but it would be less fun, imo.)

In any case. These two women seem like they would be unlikely friends. They have similar positions in the world, but they're separated by both distance and temperament. 

I is a cold-blooded, rather calculating person, who is the most ruthless, seems like she has no emotions, uses people to her advantage, and will hurt anyone who gets in her way. At the same time, when she loves someone, she will care about them so hard it will hurt her, but show it in the strangest ways. She's very much a woman, and uses her womanliness and her beautiful clothing to the highest effect, but at the same time has a cool and calculating head for diplomacy and complicated politics. (I think she's an INTJ. I want to be just like her when I grow up.) Oh, and did I mention that she's gorgeous?

H is a tomboy who seems to have no business in a role that is more-or-less designed for a womanly woman. She hates wearing fancy clothes, and in fact wears pants most of the time. In addition, she can fight as well as a man, and has a broken nose due to an unfortunate bout of sword practice. She's the despair of all her female relatives, and does. not. even. care. Despite her high-ish role, she's fairly naïve, and knows very little about romance in particular. She's very caring for those close to her, and hates having to use people. She can carry a grudge for ages, but will reconsider when handed new information. She's also not especially pretty (see: broken nose). 

Now, unexpected circumstances bring these two women into close contact. Initially, H resents I for complicated political reasons, but not much later, they begin to become friends. (Argh, I'm trying to figure out how to convey the beauty without giving spoilers!)

There's really two scenes that, in my mind, convey the friendship between these two. 

I'll have to be vague about the first one, but there's a situation where I realizes that she deeply cares about someone--but he doesn't know it. He loves her, but thinks she hates him. She and H are going up to his room, and they find him lying on the floor with a broken pot next to him. And due to complicated circumstances, she thinks he's dead. And she's frozen in the door, thinking that she loves him, and now she's dead, and that she deserves it because of what she has done. And H, who still is in the resenting phase, walks past her to check on the man on the floor, looks up at I, realizes what she's feeling and gently tells her, "He's only sleeping". No blame. The resentment vanishes. Forever. 

In the second instance, H has fallen in love with a man who is about to go away to war. Possibly never to return, as tends to be a risk with war. She's standing next to I while the man is about to depart, while they're saying their good-byes--and I, crusty I, without saying anything, takes her hand. And holds it. And it's a lifeline to H, the only thing holding her upright. Because I knows what H is going to be feeling, even though H doesn't know that she's going to be feeling that until she feels it. (I'm literally about to cry just writing about this. It's beautiful. I told you I wanted to be just like I when I grow up.)

I'm hoping this rambliness gave you some idea of how wonderful this friendship is...because I'm not sure how well I did with expressing in words how much I love it. <3 (This is also the part where I also tell you...go read the book.) 


Natalie and Zoey 
From The School Story by Andrew Clements

This is another pair of super-different-yet-get-along-wonderfully friends. Natalie is the quiet writer, Zoey is the spitfire jack-of-all-trades, and they're been friends basically since birth. 

When Natalie writes a book that Zoey loves, she decides that Natalie should publish it (yes, okay, this is a little unrealistic. But once one suspends disbelief it is fun). And while Natalie is shy and unsure, Zoey consistently believes in her and pushes her to do her best, and is just an awesome friend. And Natalie lets Zoey in, lets her help, and believes in her crazy ideas. <3


Rosalind and Anna 
From The Penderwicks series by Jeanne Birdsall

I feel like many of the friendships in these books are between sisters, but we cannot possibly forget Anna! 

She's one of the friends who I love seeing in books who can just sort of walk into the house at any time like she's a sister, and no one actually cares. (My house is not like this in real life. I kind of wish it was.) She helps the sisters craft goofy plans to keep bad things from happening (which often backfire), and she invites Rosalind on trips when she needs breaks. It's not the most flashy or fantabulous friendship on this list, but I still love it. 


Theodora & Bodhi 
From Under the Egg by Laura Marx Fitzgerald

This pair just makes me laugh. Because Theodora is a self-sufficient, scrappy, poor kid who is trying to keep the house from falling down around her clueless mother's ears, and Bodhi is a super rich, persistent, unschooled brat (if I'm honest) who really needs to find her next unschooling unit. And when they come together...there are sparks. Lots and lots of sparks. But also, the two of them end up becoming a great team for the adventures that come their way. :)

Harriet & Lalla 
From Skating Shoes by Noel Streatfield 

Another pair of unlikely friends--Lalla is a rich skating champion, and Harriet come from a poor family, and takes up skating to get stronger after a long illness. As the two of them start to share their experiences with each other, both gain empathy (especially Lalla), and despite the bumps in the road, they end up better for it. 

Elizabeth & Charlotte 
From Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen 

I don't know that I would say that these two have a beautiful friendship, but I am intrigued by their friendship. 

Jane Austen tells us that they are friends, and, if I recall correctly, we get to see a few short conversations between them...and then Charlotte *does spoilers*, and moves. After that, Elizabeth does go to visit her, and they have a few conversations then, too, but really not many. 

This is where what-we-know ends, and what-I-wonder begins.

  • Lizzie is confused and somewhat disgusted when Charlotte agrees to marry *spoilers--if you know, you know*--does it surprise her, from what she knows of Charlotte?
  • Does Charlotte have so little respect for her friend's opinion that she would take Lizzie's leavings? 
  • How did they become friends in the first place?
  • What did they have in common, before *spoilers happened*?
  • Did Lizzie ever go visit her again? Did Charlotte see Lizzie's fortune and even wonder if, had she waited, something like that might have happened to her?
  • Was Charlotte's baby a girl, and did she name her after Lizzie? (Okay, that's not a friendship question really, it's just a Sam-is-obsessed-with-babies question). 

Emma, Jess, Megan & Cassidy 
From The Mother-Daughter Book Club by Heather Vogel Frederick 

It took me so long to find good female friendships for this post...and then suddenly I remembered this book/series, which, if you do the math, technically has six female friendships in it. :) 

I love the matrices of friendships in this book, from the best-friendship between Jess and Emma to the new friendships that they all forge with Cassidy. And the best part--everything is based around books! Because they're a book club! 

Throughout the series, the friendships are strained and stretched as the girls grow, but through all the difficulties of growing up, they're there for each other. Always. And that is a beautiful thing. 


(Image credit: Corby Eisbacher)

Mary and Elizabeth 
From, well, the Bible

Okay, I'm going to end with what is quite possibly my favorite pair of Biblical friends (not that there are many to choose from, but oh well). Elizabeth shows up only in the beginning parts of Luke, where A) she finally conceives a child after being barren for years and B) Mary goes and visits her. (We're going to focus on B. Obviously.

I find it so interesting that the first thing that Mary does after the Annunciation is she rises and "goes in haste to the hill-country of Judea" to visit Elizabeth. The first thing isn't warning Joseph, it's not talking to her parents, it's not taking some time to process, her first instinct is to go find Elizabeth. I know this is partially to point to Mary's role as the New Ark of the Covenant (look it up! I don't have time to explain it here. :D), but I like to imagine that it's also because she and Elizabeth are good friends, and she wants to share the good news (Evangelium) with her friend. After their initial greetings, (which include the absolutely gorgeous Canticle of Mary) Luke simply tells us that Mary stays with Elizabeth for six months (i.e. until John was born) and then returns home. I like to imagine, based on what I know of the Blessed Mother, that she helped Elizabeth with a lot of housework as Elizabeth progressed in her pregnancy, and that the two women had a lot of heart-to-hearts. 

One of the other interesting parts of this story (to me, at least, but I am a patent Latin and Greek nerd) is the word that's used to describe Elizabeth's relationship to Mary. It's sometimes translated "cousin", but the Greek word "συγγενής" (pronounced suggenes), which St. Jerome translated into the Latin as "cognata", most literally means "kinswoman" or "relative". From what I understand, it's a step of closeness away from the word "ἀνεψιός" (pronounced anepsios), which means "cousin", or "sibling". So Elizabeth wasn't Mary's cousin, but a close-ish female relative, who she may have gotten to know at the Passover when the whole family was in Jerusalem, or at some other time. 

Nerdery aside, I think my favorite part of this friendship is that it's developed between two women of very disparate ages. While there's debate about how old Mary is, it's pretty well established that she was a teenager, while Elizabeth is most certainly quite a bit older, given that she's described as conceiving "in her old age". Mary obviously trusts Elizabeth, given that she's the person to whom Mary goes first when she finds out that she has been chosen to be the Mother of God. And I love this. I think that friendships are age segregated too much, and while being friends with people one's own age is 100% a good thing, being friends with someone older or younger than you is a beautiful, beautiful thing. 

Did I miss any excellent female friendships? What are your favorite female friendships in literature? Why do you think there are fewer female friendships than other kinds in literature?

Comments

  1. You missed Anne and Diana from Anne of Green Gables!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    1. Megan is doing them! :) (She hasn't put her post up yet). We wouldn't forget Diana and Anne!

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    2. Oh phew, that would have been a travesty....

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  2. Awesome idea for the both of you! I've barely read any of these. XD I have a lot to look forward to. I love Ella and Areida! They might've been one of the first female friendships that I read, too...

    I have mixed feelings on Angelica and Eliza (then again, I have mixed feelings on all of Hamilton, but Eliza is probably my favorite part). I hadn't thought of it like that, so I'm glad to read another opinion. :)

    The eternal question is why Lizzy and Charlotte are friends. XD Seriously, was no one else around? XD I LOVE the relationship between Lizzy and Jane. <3

    Having Mary and Elizabeth last was the icing on the cake. Bravo!

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    1. Thank you! Well, then yeah, you do have a lot to look forward to. XD
      Ella and Areida are probably the first female friendship I read, too!

      They are a bit complicated, because while they are excellent friends, there are some issues with the whole "kinda being in love with the same person" thing. But I do still love their friendship. Like, a lot.

      I know! Was Charlotte the only girl their age in the whole district? XD Lizzy and Jane, though, are the best. <3

      Thank you! (I thought so too. XD)

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  3. I love the Mother-Daughter Book Club series! It does seem that there are more good female friendships in junior fiction than adult, isn't that weird? Like Nancy Drew and her gal pals, or the Babysitters Club girls.

    I've got a burgeoning female friendship in my WIP right now that I'm really enjoying watching unfold.

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    1. Oh yay, another MDBC fan! I hadn't thought of that, but now that you point it out--it's totally true! That is strange. We need more adult female friendships!

      Nice! Can't wait to hear more about it!

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  4. This is such a good idea for a post!

    Honestly good friendships feel underrated even though they are done quite a bit.

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    1. Thank you!

      I know! Even though there are some, we need more!

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  5. AGGGGGGGH SAMANTHA.

    (Sorry it's taken me so long to comment!! I spent all Friday morning writing my post and was out and about all day Saturday...)

    MADDIE AND QUEENIE AND EVERYTHING YOU SAID ABOUT THEM. (also i am utterly clueless on wwii terminology so you're good) So much yes to that significant word "like" in "it's like being in love." Because there's very emotional affection involved in some friendships, but that doesn't mean there's anything unwholesome going on. And Code Name Verity as a whole is a lovely example of that.

    Angelica and Eliza. *grins* *whimpers* *sobs and wails* Okay, but, but, I kind of want to do an in-depth character study on them and Alexander someday. Because Angelica and Alexander are both people who "will never be satisfied." Which is really Alexander's fatal flaw, right? And it's also what Eliza keeps begging him to leave behind--"Isn't this enough?" And I think that's incredibly significant when considering who was right for who. If Angelica had married Alexander, it...they would have understood one another perfectly, but I'll bet their marriage would've fallen apart. Because she would've been so accepting of his tendency to be Not Around. While Eliza suffers a LOT as Alexander's wife because she's the most contented person in the world and it's hard to try and keep him steady, and yet all her efforts are WORTH it because in the end he can look at her and say "best of wives and best of women," and, and, and *runs offstage crying*

    ...maybe there is yet more Pride and Prejudice fan fiction to be written? Because YES, I need to have answers to all these questions about Charlotte and Elizabeth.

    And, um, okay. Not that I wasn't sold on The Queen's Thief before. But, um. I may have to bump it up into a more primary position on my TBR now. I and H sound like the most beautiful, potentially heartbreaking thing.

    (It's funny, isn't it, how a lot of our female friendships seem to be made more significant when there's romance involved?)

    And Kate and Constance. *grins* Those two have the BEST sisterly dynamic going on. Even if they're not technically sisters, Constance is the most realistic little sister character I've ever met. She reminds me SO much of my own Blonde Imp of a sister it's almost scary. X)

    Fantastic, fantastic post, Sam! I did indeed have *so* much fun with this collab. :) Thank you so much for organizing...the whole thing. (I never would've attempted a female friendships post if you hadn't, I don't think.) :)

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    1. (Please do not apologize! Not even a bit! I totally get it!)

      I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT! (Oh good, it's not just me). YES, because you're so right, friendships are affectionate/agape-y, but that doesn't mean there's anything bad about it! I love that SO MUCH about Code Name Verity.

      I knoooooowwwww there was so. much. I could have said about them, and I had to keep it short so they didn't take over the post. XD And you're so RIGHT because if Angelica had married him, they wouldn't have lasted. At all. Having diversity in marriage is good. :) I wonder if that's part of what Angelica realizes--that they are *both* people who will never be satisfied, and *therefore* she should step out of the way for Eliza? *joins you in crying*

      Um, I think there definitely is room for more P&P fan fiction! Especially about C & E. For sure. (But only if there are babies involved. XD)

      *pumps fist* YES! I can't wait to hear what you think about it! I and H are the BEST, even though they, as friends, aren't "onscreen" as much as some of the other characters. (Their friendship really starts at the end of book 2, and continues especially in 4 and 6.)

      (That's so true! Maybe it's the contrast? Or how nice it is to have feminine friends around while one is in a relationship?)

      I KNOW! Honestly, those books are probably my favorite example of the found family trope EVER. Because YES Constance is the best little sister character ever.

      Thank you so much! That means a lot! I'm so glad you had fun, since I did, too! You're very welcome! Thank you for joining me!

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    2. I. FORGOT. TO COMMENT. IN MY COMMENT. ON ELIZABETH AND MARY.

      *screams self-accusatory screams* I do so love what you say about them. And your Latin and Greek nerdiness is always welcome in this corner of the world. :)

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    3. (Totally fine! But I will admit that I wondered why you forgot. XD XD)

      Thank you! And also thank you--I was hoping everyone would enjoy my nerdiness and not be rolling their eyes in an "oh, Samantha is talking about Latin again" sort of way. :)

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  6. Ooh, I love this list. So many good characters and friendships. And, just, yessssss.

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  7. Great choices! I love strong friendships in books.
    My sister and I have a lot of similarities to Anjelica and Eliza.

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    1. Thank you! Me too.
      Hey, my sister and I have similarities to Angelica and Eliza as well!

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  8. Re: your awesome paragraphs on Maddie and Queenie and the value of just plain old friendship: have you read Lewis's The Four Loves? (I know I know the answer to this, but I forget! XD I'm sorry!) Because you should if you haven't (and if you, uh, want to, not trying to be unduly pushy here lol). What he says about friendship is a lot like what you're saying and it's so good.

    Ella and Areida <3 They were so fun. I always wished they had more time together.

    Everything you just said about I and H? *clutches heart* Yeah. This is why MWT is one of my favorite authors. She writes these beautiful, unconventional stories, relationships, friendships, and she does it in like TWO SCENES or whatever and it's more powerful than hundreds of other stories that devote hundreds of pages to these things. Like, how does she do it? And I and H are such beautiful characters on their own - I LOVE what you said about H and how forgiving she is and just...auughhh. I want to be her when I grow up. XD (Do you wanna find some countries to rule and be enemies-turned-best-of-friends? When we grow up?)
    (Also, do I hear that there is more I+H friendship in book 6? Because...TLKETHLAKEWTHLKWTAEKLTHLKTEWLKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
    (Also, you expressed it really well, I thought. I was impressed because it's hard to express. Everything about those books is, honestly.)

    Natalie and Zoey!! Aww! I read that book once upon a time. Totally forgot about it, but this brings back good memories. That was a really good friendship.

    Elizabeth and Charlotte are, indeed, an interesting pair. They remind me of Maddie and Queenie, in that they're VERY different and yet still very good friends (till spoilers happen, of course). Which is something that's very true to life? Like, I'd say that more of my friendships than not are with people who...we share some common interests but also some really different ones, and it's like this puzzling thing where in some ways we're INCREDIBLY similar and in others we're INCREDIBLY different. I think that just makes for a good friendship? Elizabeth and Charlotte both have a mind for practicality, they're both observant about people, they're both mildly cynical, and they're both very chill. Plus they've grown up together. The strain on their friendship makes me sad. I like to think that it eventually eased and they became easy, familiar friends once again. I think it's totally possible.

    Mary and Elizabeth <3

    This is an awesome post, and I am duly inspired to write more female friendships. XD 'Cause, seriously, the world needs more of them.

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    1. I have read The Four Loves! It's one of my very favorite Lewisian works, and the chapter on friendship is probably my favorite part! (The stuff he says about invisible cats...*dies laughing* *is also very satisfied*).

      I know, I always wished the book showed them seeing each other again!

      I KNOW! MWT is the BEST! Upon consideration, those might be the only two scenes in those books that show those two's friendship, and yet, I have the most vivid mental image/knowledge of the kind of friendship they have! (I want to be able to do that!) YES they're amazing on their own as well as friends...so perfect.
      (Um, is that even a question? Yes! When we grow up, let's find some countries to rule and be enemies-turned-friends. XD)
      (Yes, there's more I+H friendship in book 6! And it's amazing, because they're also married to two best friends...I won't say more since I don't want to give you spoilers, but it is PERFECT. AND AMAZING.)
      (Thank you! It's so true, it's hard to say anything about those books without wandering into the realm of just shoving it at people. Not that there's any problem with that. XD)

      I'm glad I could bring back some good memories! Those two are super sweet. :)

      Y'know, when you say it...they kind of do. And it's so true--friendships often work best with people who are super different! Like, all my friends and I share the love of God and the love of books, but after that...we're very, very different! And I think that honestly, that's true about a lot of the friendships on this list...so I think you're right, it makes for good friendships! I know, the strain always makes me sad, too! Like Megan said, I think we do need some later-in-life-Elizabeth-and-Charlotte fanfiction. :)

      <3 <3

      Thank you! Yay, I'm glad I could inspire you. 'Cause we sure do!

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