January Wrap-Up + A Quirk!

My January has been a bit of a bizarre mish-mash, given that I spent half of it in the PNW and half of it in Illinois, but a lot of stuff happened, so let's jump into the wrap-up!

1. I had sixteen more days of break after the end of December, which I did my best to enjoy to the fullest--we got to have dinner with Fr. DD twice, I went to a Seahawks game for the first time ever with my siblings and cousins, and the Hawks won (it was fun, but this introvert needed a LOT of quiet time after, lol), I livestreamed two Masses, a funeral, and a wedding, got stung by my bees which, funnily enough, ARE still alive, met up with a couple of different friends, and read Greenglass House to my two youngest siblings. That was an absolute blast, they loved it, and I loved all the voices it gave me an excuse to do. XD Towards the end of break, right before I was supposed to leave, we were exposed to COVID, and I was really scared that I wouldn't be able to come back to school, but thank God, the tests came back negative, and so I was able to fly back as planned. In that time, though, I was freaking out and decided to draw for the first time in months, and ended up with a really nice drawing (or at least I think it is) of Fr. DD saying Mass in the Dominican Rite for the Annunciation a couple of years ago. 

2. A friend of mine (Lewis, if you must know) during break recommended that I read The Little Prince, and then kindly brought his copy back with him from break so I could enjoy it. What he failed to mention, was that it was more or less a fairy tale, and would break me inside, and then proceed to stomp all over my bleeding heart. [He would like to point out that if he had told me how much it would break my heart, it would have ruined the experience. Fair point, Lewis. Sorry, guys, I guess I just partially ruined it for you.] I WAS NOT EXPECTING SUCH A TINY BOOK TO HURT ME SO THOROUGHLY. I suddenly understand *exactly* how Lewis [C. S., not my friend] and Tolkien feel/felt about fairy tales, and their narrative power and ability to move one to the good. That's not really a way that traditional fairy tales have ever struck me, perhaps because of overexposure, or maybe because I haven't read the right ones, but THIS BOOK. 

Y'all, THIS BOOK. 

It doesn't seem like it's going to be such a heartbreaking thing. But it's heartbreaking in its simplicity. It's the tiny moments, the tiny things that are said, that make it hurt so much, and give one that feeling, maybe close to the one that Lewis [again, C.S., not my friend. This is a bit unwieldy] calls "joy", where one wants more, all of a sudden. And also the feeling that the author understands, that he knows how Life Is. 

The author's imagination is so incredibly Catholic. I could tell just by reading it, and I wasn't surprised at all to learn, after a quick Wikipedia visit, that he indeed came from a Catholic family, descended from Saint Exupery, apparently, hence the last name Saint-Exupery.

I was not expecting such a deep experience on a Wednesday afternoon.

I feel like I can't really give more of a review without spoiling it for people who haven't read it, which I Shall Not Do, so for anyone who has read it, I will put more thoughts hidden under a spoiler marker.

(It's a short book. It will take you an afternoon. There are illustrations by the author that are worked into the story. You should read it.)

*Highlight For Spoilers*

The fox. The part with the fox. Where the fox tells the boy that he wants him to tame him, and that once that happens, he will no longer be one little boy out of the many millions, but that he will be indispensable. And then the part where the fox tells the boy "Men have forgotten this truth...you become forever responsible for what you have tamed." And when he talks about how the boy must come at the same time every day, so that he has time to get properly excited. THIS IS HOW FRIENDSHIP SHOULD WORK. True friendship. I LOVE THE FOX. 

And then that connects to how the boy feels about the rose..."she is more important, because it is she that I have watered...because she is my rose." Hello Chesterton, and the notion of loving things even though they are imperfect, just because they are yours. Hello, Christological echoes, which continue through the rest of the book and are so BEAUTIFUL that I thought I was going to start crying. If I try to express those echoes, I wind up crushing them, but they have life inside my heart. That sounds too poetical, but it's true.

Also, I just read Small Is Still Beautiful, by Joseph Pearce, which is essentially a critique of Big Economics, and globalization that I found incredibly valid, and this quote reminded me of both that and Chesterton: "Men have no more time to understand anything. They buy things all ready made at the shops. But there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends anymore." Taming takes time, which is in short supply these days. But it is SO important.

Speaking of friendship, another favorite quote, but without comment: "When you tell [grownups] that you have made a new friend, they never ask you any questions about essential matters. They never say to you 'What does his voice sound like? What games does he love best? Does he collect butterflies?'"

And ohhhhhh the ending. The ending about killed me. And the moment where the aviator is carrying the boy, and feels such a tenderness towards him, in his vulnerability and beauty...that is the truest description of that feeling that I have ever read.

*End Spoilers*

Before

After

3. So, since I did not have to stay home and quarantine, I am now back at Newman, the land of friends, homework, and 24/7 chapel access! I do miss being at home (not being at my home parish hit me harder this time around) but I'm really enjoying all of my classes so far (and I get to take Latin this quarter, which is half killing me and half almost my favorite class) and I'm not TOO overwhelmed with homework (although 19 credit hours does mean a LOT of homework), so that's good. My Latin teacher did throw us absolutely straight into De Bella Gallico, though, which means that I am getting a lot better at translating and parsing Latin a lot faster than I was expecting. This is a good thing, as I try to tell myself when it nears an hour of trying to get done with ONE SENTENCE. Caesar is not my favorite Latin author. 

I do enjoy being back with friends, although the precarious nature of COVID means that at any given time, probably not all of them are available for me to see, which is equal parts sad and scary...thank goodness for the quick saliva tests at UIUC! I haven't gotten it yet, as far as I know, and I'd like it to stay that way, if possible. But anyway, the delight of just randomly running into people I know all of the time is unparalleled. 

(Also, Newman pretty much has everything I need as long as I don't have class in person, which for the first week we didn't. There were two straight days where I didn't step outside the building once. That was fun.)

Additionally, as the photos above would suggest, my mom cut my hair over break. By a LOT. And it's been so funny seeing peoples' reactions--all of my female friends have noticed that it's cut, and only one of my guy friends has noticed. And he asked if it was longer. XD I think that might just be a guy thing, though...my dad didn't even notice. I had a bet with my mom on it. I almost lost five dollars, but Eomer accidentally ruined the terms of the bet by telling Dad, so I did not.

4. So, I watched Disney's new movie Encanto over break, with my siblings. And I am honestly a little bit obsessed. Just a tad. It may have something to do with the fact that Lin-Manuel Miranda wrote the music. 

Seriously, the music for that movie is amazing. It's perhaps not as good as Moana or Frozen (there are a couple of bits that feel a bit repetitive, especially in the first song), but the songs are still really enjoyable, and the way he weaves together musical motifs and writes ensemble songs...well, it's unparalleled in modern movie/musical music, really. I may or may not have gone around humming bits from "We Don't Talk About Bruno" for days. I am also a sucker for "Surface Pressure", and Mirabel's song, the name of which I forget. I have already listened to the soundtrack far too many times. The way the dynamic of the family comes through the music is spectacular!

One thing that I wasn't able to put into words until I read an interview with Lin-Manuel Miranda is that the movie doesn't center around a conflict or a quest or a disaster...it centers around the family, the Madrigals. Essentially, it's a character-driven film, which is actually really rare? The drama of the movie is in the relationships, which is why I ended the movie with such a weird feeling...the movie was not exactly what I was expecting. And I didn't know if I liked it. But then I realized exactly how the movie worked and why it worked, and it all clicked, and suddenly I realized that it's different, but not bad. 

One of the things that I really loved about it was, in fact, its focus on the family. I am from a big family myself, and I am rich in both cousins and siblings, so this family with a whole bunch of siblings and cousins and all the dynamics that go with that? I feel, to quote the hip young people, seen. I LOVE the dynamics, ESPECIALLY the cousin dynamics. But also, "What Else Can I Do" is pretty much the song version of how Legolas & my relationship has evolved in recent years, something that I just realized, but it's very perfect. (Except, in that scenario, we are both Isa and both Mirabel. XD)

I also love Mirabel. She reminds me of someone I worked with a couple of years ago, who was lovely, and I love her determination to just FIX THE DANG THING. 

Also, the diversity in the family was beautiful and felt unforced. Love.

And the house! I love sentient buildings, so that was a good touch.

Additionally, the way that the family referred to their "miracle" and "blessings" made me very happy. The emphasis on being blessed, and thus being obligated to extend those blessings to others was very well done.

I did think that the ending left a few things in the lurch that could've been resolved, especially with Luisa. From the song ("Surface Pressure"), I thought that she could've gotten more resolution at the end. Honestly, the whole ending felt a bit too speedy/unexplained, but hey, nothing is perfect.

5. Quotes: Eomer Edition

"If I put away the sauce, will you stop trying to arrange my marriage for five minutes?" --Eomer [I did agree to stop trying to arrange his marriage if he put away the sauce.] [Also, this was payback, because he'd been trying to arrange MY marriage for like a week.]

So, my guy friends at Newman will sometimes call the girls "rib" when they are displeased (usually fake-displeased) with us, and I think it's hilarious. Somehow, Eomer got wind of this, and it turns out I think it's less hilarious when used by my 13-y-o younger brother. Hence, the following quote: "I will call you rib when I'm mad at you because it's a good way to objectify you, so I feel no remorse about destroying you." --Eomer [This did not work out very well for him.]

"Get your fiancée's tunnel off of your head." --Mom [The rabbit likes Eomer more than anyone else, so we call her his fiancée. Completely in jest, obviously.]

[Discussing natural disaster response] "So, avalanches. In a small avalanche, try to get out of the way. In a big avalanche, try to say a quick act of contrition." --Eomer

*brings a very large (Jersey Giant) chicken into the kitchen while I am baking* "Do her feet have frostbite?" --Eomer

6. It has come to my attention this month that a young acquaintance of mine, namely Faramir, has started a birding blog! You can find him here. 

And I figured that, since he's been introducing himself to many of my blogosphere friends, it was high time to call him out.

...no, no, not to a duel! Of course not, that would be most uncivilized. No, I am calling the young man out to recommend him to you further as my younger cousin. Not so much younger as to be an impediment to discussion of writing projects, but young enough that I just barely remember his cuteness as a baby. You couldn't hide your connection to me forever, Faramir, mwahahahaha. So. Since I can't ignore it when a family member enters the blogosphere, I have created unnecessary drama, and now I am moving on.

7. Jem is doing a Quirk again! *happy dance* Find her link-up post here, and until then, here is my response to her photo prompt.

"I found a toad outside!" a little voice pipes behind me.

I whirl, startled, from the kitchen counter. I wasn't expecting her to get back inside so soon. I set down the bottle of pre-emptive pain medication. I don't know if I'll need it, but as soon as That Man gets home, there's going to be trouble. If I don't need it, That Woman will. 

"Show me," I tell my little sister, and she grabs my hand, tugging me past the piano towards the sliding doors, stubby pigtails bouncing.

"It's in the watering can," she tells me eagerly, "and now it has a hat!"

A grin creeps across my face. Her enthusiasm is almost able to block out the worry that has condensed like a cloud in my head. The cloud that doesn't ever seem to leave.

The sun is setting, and the golden light skips across the tiny back garden, making the cinderblock wall, for a second, look almost like a castle wall. If this was a fairytale, I could slay the ogre and save the princess. But this is the real world, and people go to jail for that. And I'm not eighteen yet, so I can't just rescue the princess and spirit her away to a magical land with no ogres. All I can do is drown out the growling. Two more months. I can protect the princess for two more months.

"Look!" she tells me, pointing emphatically, her tiny forefinger indicating a toad that is indeed in the watering can, and indeed wearing a hat that my sister has evidently made out of a leaf and placed upon its head. I'm surprised it stayed still for that.

The sunlight almost makes it look like a magical toad. If it was a magical toad, it would grant my wish. But we live in the real world, and the toads are just toads. Wishes are granted by hard work, and maybe a little bit of luck. Or prayer, Dad's voice whispers in my internal ear.

I shake my head. I gave up on prayer a long time ago. 

"That's certainly a toad," I affirm. "And I like the hat."

"It does, too," she tells me, looking up at my face. The sunlight makes her brown eyes look even bigger and more beautiful and innocent than usual.

At that moment, through the open sliding door and all the way out into the garden, I hear the front door slam. 
The tiny frown that creases in between her big eyes makes my heart constrict. "Did you find anything else outside today?" I ask. 
She shakes her head and says nothing, looking warily towards the house. 
"Is it time for piano yet?" she asks. 
I cock my head to the side and listen. The door slams again. That Man is home. 
"Yes, it's time for piano," I tell her, and usher her inside quickly. I want to sit down at the piano with her before the yelling starts.
Or the hitting.
Especially the hitting. 
I don't look towards the kitchen, I just make a beeline for the piano, propelling my sister ahead of me, my hand between her tiny shoulder blades. 
I slide onto the familiar wood, worn soft as velvet by my jeans over the years, and pull her up onto my lap. 
"Is there nothing for dinner, woman?" I hear That Man growl.
My sister and I ate dinner already. It was hot dogs, chips, and an apple that I smuggled home for her from school.
"If you would earn more at your stupid job, maybe there'd be better food, lazybones!" That Woman snaps back.
"If you'd look after your duty as a wife, you'd make sure there was food no matter what!"
"What should we start with?" I whisper in her ear. 
"All Through the Night," she whispers back. 
That's a good one. It's a lullaby that Dad used to sing to me. "Do you remember the melody?" I ask her.
"Of course, silly," she says, indignant.
"If you'd look after your duty as a husband, you'd provide for us!" I hear That Woman say in the background, voice raised.

My sister lowers her fingers to the yellowing keys and the short little appendages begin to move confidently through the simple melody. My hands automatically begin to layer chords underneath, and I nudge her to get louder, just as I hear the slap of skin on skin. My shoulders tense, but my fingers don't falter. 

We play all of the verses, as the yelling gets louder and louder, and the slapping continues, escalating eventually to muffled thumps. Every time I hear something like that, I push the volume louder. 
I look down at her little face, checking for fear. Alarm. But she's all concentration, lip pouting out as she makes sure that she's playing the right notes.

Of course she is. We've been playing this song since she was two.
Once we finish the last verse, I segue into the chords for "Barbara Allen", which she recognizes immediately, picking out the melody that tells the story of the fickle girl who died for her lack of love. 
The yelling crescendos behind us, getting nearer. I know what's coming before it does, and tense, as That Couple crosses behind us, and a hard hand whips out, just visible in my peripheral, and punches me in the back, then again in the kidney. I don't flinch. I can't flinch. I have to keep my body between my sister and the hand, have to keep playing the chords.
"And stop that infernal racket, boy," That Man snarls, as he follows That Woman into their bedroom, to continue their fight.
I don't stop 'that infernal racket'. I haven't done so since he moved in. And I won't. He can't hurt me badly enough for that. Or he won't. Or he hasn't yet.
The yelling continues, a little muffled now.
We keep playing, despite the ache in my back.
Finally, the yelling dies down, and she begins to grow limp in my arms, her fingers picking the tune across the keyboard slowing, and finally it's just my chords, the strong base that holds up the melody. 
I carefully wrap my arms around her, and stand cautiously, not allowing myself to groan. It hurts, but I'll survive. Somehow, I always do. "Time for bed, princess," I whisper to her, as I shift her so that her little face, eyelashes long against her cheeks, rests against my shoulder.
Two more months. We can last two more months.

Was that unnecessarily dark? Maybe. Did I enjoy every second? Quite possibly.

Did you do anything fun this January? Have you seen Encanto or read The Little Prince? What was the last book that destroyed you inside? Have you noticed that guys just don't notice haircuts? XD