Life At Newman: Observations Of The Dating Scene

Look, I remembered to post on time this week! XD This post is a tad experimental, but I thought I'd try it because there are a lot of aspects of living in a big Catholic community (or even of having a big Catholic community) that I wouldn't have even though of before I came and started living at the Newman Center, some of which are really funny, and I thought it would be fun to share some of them with you. I don't wish I was a sociology major, but I do enjoy observing the social mores of groups at the Newman Center like I was a distant anthropolo-sociologist. It's fascinating and also quite entertaining, and I wish to share some of my insights. And also, I miss Newman, so I want to post about it over the summer. It is what it is. 

Anyway, I'm going to start with dating, because why not. (These are also most of the funniest parts, in my opinion. I don't know what that says about me. XD)

1. If you tell anyone that you're interested in someone, you've been on a date with someone, or you're considering dating someone, everyone at Newman will know about it within three days. (There are a few exceptions for people who really don't share information about other people, but you have to know who those people are.) This isn't malicious at all, it's just, people are happy when other people are in relationships. But if one wants to keep a relationship secret, one needs to tell absolutely no one. 

2. The rule above about telling absolutely no one if you want something to be kept secret includes the priests, although if you tell them in spiritual direction, they probably won't tell anyone. Apparently, though, for intelligence gained through other channels, our three priests will have status-catchup sessions for the relationship/vocation scene at Newman in the rectory in the evenings. This CRACKS ME UP. 

3. A good chunk of the time (less than 50%, but probably more than 10%), when a couple breaks up, it's because one of them wants to discern either the priesthood or the religious life. (This doesn't necessarily dull the sting, from what I've heard from my friends who've been broken up with for this, but it's a lot harder to argue with than other reasons for breakups.)

4. Going along with point 1, everyone at Newman is invested in everyone else's dating relationships. Which makes breakups kind of rough for everyone involved, even if it's for one member of the couple to discern the priesthood or religious life. (This is especially true if Newman opinion had already married the couple in its mind, if that makes any sense. Which it doesn't (make sense), but it does happen.)

5. If, instead of keeping one's relationship secret, one wants to declare to the world (aka the Newman Center) at large that one is dating, the way one does this is to sit together at a daily Mass. Once a man and a woman have sat together at daily Mass, everyone knows that they're dating. Thus, one needs to be very careful if one has guy friends not to sit with them alone at a daily Mass. (It's basically the equivalent of being walked home from church, in the time of Laura Ingalls Wilder). 

5.5. If, when a man and a woman sit together at daily Mass, the man is sitting closer to the aisle, but lets the woman out of the pew to receive Communion first, in the words of one of my friends "they're basically engaged". 

6. There are certain sets of people who are definitely trying to find their Someone before they graduate. This is not only limited to women who want to get their 'MRS' degree (though there are a few of those, too). To be fair, it's the largest concentration of eligible Catholics most people are ever likely to be around, so it's not a bad idea, per se...

7. People (mostly women) will often go on "Dating Fasts" which may mean an actual fast from dating in order to try to focus on relationship with God, but may also mean something along the lines of "I am interested in a guy and want to be pursued more" or "I am interested in a guy and want to stop being interested in him, so I will tell myself that I would say no if he did ask me out because I'm on a dating fast. Even if that's not necessarily what I would say". 
(Notably, I know at least one person who has been asked out and entered into what appears to be an excellent dating relationship during what was supposed to be a dating fast. This happens more often than one might think. See above.)

8. Axe throwing is a very common first or second date. Don't ask me why, but this has happened to multiple of my friends. It's also traditional for the guy to get his butt whupped at said axe throwing by the girl. 

9. People who are interested in each other will often go through a 'hanging out' stage, where they just...end up in each other's orbit more often than is probable. In my opinion, at this stage, it is extremely obvious that these people are interested in each other, but apparently it has subsequently surprised some others at Newman when two people moved through a 'hanging out' stage to start dating. 

10. Too many PDA during a new relationship may merit anything from admonitions by one's friends to actually being called out (not by name, but definitely by situation) during a homily. (Although the priest involved swears up and down that he didn't mean that couple in particular. But he did turn red when asked if he meant that couple in particular. XD)

So, anyway. These are some of the things I find most interesting and amusing about the dating scene at the Newman Center, and I hope you've gotten a chuckle out of them, too. :) I'm sure that right after this post is published, I'll think of many more, but for now, you've gotten a bit of a taste. 

Have you experienced anything like this first-hand? Have you ever been axe throwing? (I haven't, but I don't regret that all that much.) Should I do more posts about this about other facets of Newman Center life?