Types of Catholic Men (Buzzfeed, revisited)

So, I had meant to put up my New Reads of 2023 post this week, but I drastically underestimated how much time it would take to write (summarizing my thoughts on 60ish books in one post is no joke), so that will be coming out next week, and so instead, we'll start off the year a bit more lighthearted... 

After I did my Types of Catholic Women post, my brother suggested (as a joke) that I do a Types of Catholic Men post. Joke's on you, Eomer, I have delivered.

This post was possibly even more fun to write than the Catholic Women post, because I was basically able to pull on observing all of my guy friends (and guy enemies...*eyebrow raise*) (you can decide if I'm joking or not, lol) to create these profiles, and it was both fun, and made me smile. 

Also, please do be aware that I know that these are only parts of people, partially because there are at least two complete profiles based on the exact same person. (And I really doubt that you'll be able to guess which ones.) 

But I hope you enjoy, because as I said, I had a LOT of fun writing this. :)

(It should be noted that none of these pictures are mine. All credit to the original owners.)

The Gamer
playing videogames late into the night//but those videogames are played with friends, so it's building community//discord voice chat//grades are so-so//favorite games are history or conquest games where you can play as the Holy Roman Empire//
Favorite Saint: St. Aloysius Gonzaga
Favorite Religious Order: Dominicans (for their role in history)
Favorite Prayer: The Jesus prayer
Fights Against: Intemperance in computer usage
Favorite Modern Catholic Figure: Bl. Carlo Acutis

The Teacher
always reading something really cool//sometimes struggles to answer all of his students' searching questions//wears a suit whenever possible, but it's something comfy, like tweed//teaches Sunday School on the weekends//wants to have his students' trust, so that he can reach their hearts//
Favorite Saint: St. John Bosco
Favorite Religious Order: Dominicans 
Favorite Prayer: The Surrender Novena
Fights Against: Discouragement
Favorite Modern Catholic Figure: Jeff Cavins

The Musician
my instrument is how I'm going to grow in holiness//meditates on beauty and art//struggles to find a balance between practice and friends//plays for Mass whenever possible (depending on the instrument)//is in at least one choir in addition to everything else//
Favorite Saint: St. Alphonsus de Liguori 
Favorite Religious Order: Franciscans
Favorite Prayer: Litany of Humility
Fights Against: Loneliness 
Favorite Modern Catholic Figure: The Hillbilly Thomists

The Chesterton Wanna-Be
pipe smoking//drinking together is how guys bond, so let's do it!//discussions of philosophy around a bar table or campfire//wants to talk about the good, the true, and the beautiful//sometimes gets lost in Chesterton's works//
Favorite Saint: St. Thomas More, Chesterton...as soon as he gets canonized
Favorite Religious Order: Benedictines
Favorite Prayer: Aspirations throughout the day
Fights Against: Intellectual Pride
Favorite Modern Catholic Figure: J. R. R. Tolkien

The History Buff
Bl. Charles of Austria is the best//may or may not have an Austro-Hungarian flag//you know what else is the best? folk music//watching something with friends? definitely go war film, preferably in another language//Sabaton!//
Favorite Saint: Bl. Charles of Austria 
Favorite Religious Order: Jesuits (but only the pre-20th-century ones)
Favorite Prayer: The Angelus
Fights Against: Being satisfied with the role God has given him
Favorite Modern Catholic Figure: Charles Coulombe

The Philosopher
majoring in philosophy at a secular university//recently rediscovered Catholicism//very enthusiastic about everything from Catholicism to Nietzsche//hasn't yet realized that Nietzsche and Catholicism don't go together//gets confused by Aristotle//writes many papers defending "the Catholic view"//
Favorite Saint: St. Thomas Aquinas
Favorite Religious Order: Dominicans
Favorite Prayer: Act of Faith
Fights Against: Scrupulosity 
Favorite Modern Catholic Figure: Jordan Peterson (he knows he's not Catholic...yet)

The Traditionalist
Latin Mass whenever possible//a server//has known the responses for Mass since he was seven//multiple different missals//berettas are awesome//rogation days//please, Father, will you wear your fiddleback?//
Favorite Saint: St. Pius V
Favorite Religious Order: FSSP
Favorite Prayer: The Rosary (but not the Luminous Mysteries)
Fights Against: Disobedience 
Favorite Modern Catholic Figure: Archbishop Cordileone 

The Athlete
pick-up games of volleyball, always//wears gym clothes way too much of the time//doesn't always smell very good//talking about bulking or cutting, constantly//9 pm Mass on Sundays//
Favorite Saint: St. Sebastian 
Favorite Religious Order: Franciscans
Favorite Prayer: St. Patrick's Breastplate 
Fights Against: Intemperance
Favorite Modern Catholic Figure: Fr. Chase Hilgenbrinck

The Knight Chivalrous
women are not allowed to touch doors//in fact, it's kind of fun to emit a primal scream any time one does//walking women home at night, in a very platonic way//okay, oops, maybe it's not so platonic anymore//always walks on the street side of the sidewalk//
Favorite Saint: St. Francis of Assisi 
Favorite Religious Order: Missionaries of Charity
Favorite Prayer: Sacred Heart Litany
Fights Against: Emotional unchastity
Favorite Modern Catholic Figure: Fr. Gregory Pine

The Outdoorsman
fire, ug//backpacking trips with friends//always trying to do more, go further//has at least one scar with an excellent story behind it//definitely can light a fire with a flint & steel//always a new shiny piece of gear being tested out//God in the wilderness//
Favorite Saint: St. John Paul II
Favorite Religious Order: Dominicans
Favorite Prayer: Litany of Trust
Fights Against: Impatience
Favorite Modern Catholic Figure: Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati

The Rad Trad
if there is not Latin Mass available, will go to an SSPX parish//sits women down and tells them that they should be wearing veils//young earth creationist//has a very keen eye for whether a Mass is valid or not//
Favorite Saint: St. Pius X
Favorite Religious Order: SSPX (ignoring the fact that they're possibly schismatic...)
Favorite Prayer: The Rosary (but again, not the Luminous Mysteries) 
Fights Against: Lack of trust
Favorite Modern Catholic Figure: Father Ripperger 

The Dad
blessing his kids//supporting his wife, always//is motivated by the need to provide for his family//models prayer for his older kids//family time on the weekends//
Favorite Saint: St. Joseph
Favorite Religious Order: Benedictines 
Favorite Prayer: Liturgy of the Hours
Fights Against: Inadequacy 
Favorite Modern Catholic Figure: Bishop Robert Barron 

The Juxtaposition
long hair and/or beach bod//talks about dubiously moral hijinks//no one really knows what he's thinking//serves Mass on Sunday//wears a suit to Mass when not serving//
Favorite Saint: St. Augustine of Hippo
Favorite Religious Order: Jesuits 
Favorite Prayer: Something short
Fights Against: Imprudence
Favorite Modern Catholic Figure: Paul J. Kim

The Knight of Columbus
"Official Knights Business!"//Never let him go to Costco with only other Knights without supervision//doing service, but also being goofy//slightly aggressive, but in a good way//needs a wife someday, but that seems like a lot of work//plays a mean game of Euchre//
Favorite Saint: Bl. Michael McGivney
Favorite Religious Order: Opus Dei
Favorite Prayer: St. Michael Prayer 
Fights Against: Vulgarity
Favorite Modern Catholic Figure: Fulton Sheen

So! Have you met any of these people? Was this diverting? If you're male (I know not many men read my blog, but it's worth a shot), which one are you?